Today was hectic. I got lights out the previous night and I was so angry for not honoring an invitation to come out for drinks; which would have been a perfect opportunity for me to unwind. Anyway, as usual, I decided to treat myself to some tea from my kettle, as I waited for the lights to come back on. As I sat down to write something for Tea Thoughts, I got a call from a friend.
I sipped tea and talked to my friend about an array of life issues. It finally dawned on me that as millennials we tend to worry so much that we often get anxious over trivial matters.
I’ve tried to avoid previous calls from this particular friend because she was always about finding a man, settling down, and living happily ever after, which really made me uncomfortable. To be honest, if not for the power outage and my boredom, I would have also ignored this particular call. “Hello Anima, how are you?”, her voice echoed in my ears. “Erm…I’m good”, I responded, wondering what the call was about. This time, she spoke to me about her career and how she was having challenges finding her foot in her field of work. This time around, I was the one to finally ask her about her love life and what she said shocked me. “My dear, now I am not focusing on anyone until I have my career and finances figured out oh!”, she responded. Wow! Not a reply I was expecting at all.
Change in plans
So what brought about the change in plans, you may ask. Apparently someone she was seeing left her to go and be with a lady who seemed to have it all figured out. The looks, the money, and apparently, her man. This made my friend bent on becoming like this lady so that she too can finally find her Prince Charming and live her fantasy. I patiently listened to her as she kept on ranting about how she never believed that the guy would ever leave her. How they spent most weekends together and and how she gave him ‘everything’ a lady could offer a guy. I quickly shifted the conversation back to career since I was the same person who started the relationship talk.
The headline of this episode is, Run at Your Own Pace for a reason. It was my advice to my friend although it resonated so much with me as well. Whenever my friends called for help or advice, I tell them exactly what I wish someone would have told me. I try to take my own advice although it is not always an easy thing to do. I told my friend to trust the process because we are all trying to figure things out as young adults. I also thanked her for finding me worthy of giving her advice. The thing about running at your own pace is that you may feel pressured by what someone else has or what they may be doing differently from you. But when you stay focused and do not rush, your own success story will begin to unfold.
I have had my own shares of wins and struggles. Some I am proud of, and some I am not so proud of. But that is the beauty of life. Even the people who seem to be always winning do have battles that they do not share with the rest of the world. Losing is inevitable in life. Have you not heard the saying that in life you win some and you lose some? Yes, that’s just how life goes. So personally, I choose to do my best and leave the rest to the universe to take it up.
At the end of the conversation, we were all happy and hopeful. She decided not to compare herself with anyone and to focus on just the things that she can handle while letting go of the things and people that she cannot handle. I was glad she felt encouraged and she was glad I was still the confidante she could talk to, dating from tertiary school days.
And so my dear friend, despite what you are facing, let this be the year you run at your own pace and only do things that bring you fulfillment. All other things or people should be secondary in your life, if not non-existent. Anyway, by the time we were halfway deep into our wonderful conversation, ECG decided to ‘reward’ me by bringing back my lights. Hurray!