Dearest Anima,

I would like to share my relationship issue with you. I dearly need advice. I decided to move with this girl as lovers and we created wild moments together until we parted company when we completed Senior High School (SHS).

Despite the fact that we haven’t seen each other for almost two years after our completion from SHS, I have not had the urge for other girls because I love her so much. But the problem is that I am not able to support her financially. I got admission to the university and the little money I get is being channeled into my education.

This same girl has no support from anyone talk less of her family or older siblings. She is really striving to survive. Thinking of this renders me emotionally unstable. All what I’m thinking about now is to restrict all access of her reaching me so as to get herself a guy who can support her.

What should I do?

Answer:

Hi there,

After reviewing your story, here’s some advice for you and your girlfriend. It’s obvious that you two are not prepared to be in a relationship yet.

If you haven’t broken up yet, it will be nice to distance yourselves from each other until you are capable of starting a relationship that you a fully ready for.

Relationships work better if both parties are mentally, emotionally, physically and financially ready.

Also, when you say that she has no one to support her, does it mean she doesn’t even have a place to stay? What is stopping her from learning a trade and selling some items to fend for herself?

You two should communicate and let her understand that for the sake of your future, you both must develop yourselves career wise so that you can come back and be together.

Otherwise, find ways of breaking up by telling her how you feel about your financial situations.

And then distance yourself nicely for peace to reign after a possible breakup. Remember not to be too hard on yourself, you are under no obligation to take of her needs especially as you are no gainfully employed.

All the best!