I have listened, read, and observed things in the past few months and I think I am ready to share my two cents. The passing of the gallant leaders through the tragic helicopter crash, the passing of the legendary Ghanaian musician, passing of the former first lady of Ghana, Nana Konadu Agyeman-Rawlings, my friend Adwoa Jayne, and my beloved indomie seller who you may not know. All these deaths this year has had me grieving, not just for the loss but for circumstances surrounding these deaths. I will use this post to explain my train of thoughts and try to tackle some of the lessons derived from all that I have observed regarding the subject matter.

Wives of gallant leaders

The tears. The chills. The tributes. If you watched the funeral procession of the ministers and the flights attendants who lost their lives through the helicopter crash and did not shed a tear, then I don’t know how you express pain. I became more sad to know that the young wives had been married barely a year ago. And one of them had a baby less than a year old. Gosh! This must have been a very excrutiating pain in the heart. Notheless, these women showed strength and willpower to carry on what is left and to make their families proud. This is a symbol of great honour to the men they once called husbands and their true commitment should not be overlooked.

Epitome of supportive wife

Nana Konadu Agyeman-Rawlings, from what I have learnt so far, was not just a wife. According to sources, she supported her former President husband (now late), through and through. PNDC Law 111 which enables women and their children to have a fair share of the properties left interstate was also under her husband’s admnistration of which she helped oversee. She assemblied the women’s movement to help mobilise them for funding and support under her 31st December women’s movement. And although people criticise her for being able to do so because she had the resources at her disposal, she is to me a strong supportive wife and mother, grand mother as well as a great grand mother for our generation, and must be emulated.

Wife vs Side-chick

The Akosua Serwaa and Odo Broni brouhaha has not escaped my watch these past weeks. The law suit by the former, seeking to be granted sole widowhood rites was a very interesting turn of events despite a smooth one week observation. The judgement of the court to give sole ownership of the body to the family for burial, is to me a “new” precedence set with reference to the customary laws of the Akan tradition. According to the family, the late musician for which reason the legal battle is been drawn, also left a will which may put everyone in their rightful place with regards sharing of properties. But the most interesting part of it all is how some people refer to the latter as a side-chick. Meanwhile, lawyer William Kusi, in one of his interviews, also refered to her as a slay queen. It will be interesting to see a document that vividly explains these roles and labeling extensively (although ordinance and customary marriage is extensively spelt out in situations of bigamy).

Briefing

In short, the place women hold in men’s lives varies from one woman to another. In some arguments, people ask what men will be without their wives’ involvement. Others also say side-chicks have come to help men secure their matrimonial homes by giving them the peace that their wives hitherto could not give them. Religion, morality and culture also interrogates what roles women play whether as first wives or side-pieces to men who need more respect in their homes, so to speak. But the final analysis falls on the law courts who give fair hearing to such cases when matters get out of hand. Therefore, when we all need the right interpretation of who stands for what in a man’s life, whether or not they secured the ring, we all know where to turn to, instead of the court of public opinion.