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How I Managed To Survive Twenty Something Years of Living With Single Parents

Growing up is fun but it can be stressful along the line. I have had my fair share of having to grow into a tough adult but not without some kind of drama, you know?Mine has being an amazingly exciting stay from one single parent to the other. And looking at the trend with Ghanaian parenting, single parenthood doesn’t seem like a big deal at all, yet it needs to be looked into. Seriously! Lots of youngsters are going wayward due to this phenomenon and no one seems to be talking about it. Children from such homes have to face life square-headedly all by themselves which in most cases end up drastic.

Yes I said I lived with single parents and here’s why…

I grew up in between moving in with my single mom to going to stay with my aunt who was also a single parent. Both mothers did me a good deal of discipline though. One was soft while the other was very strict. It was not easy telling which world was better but as a child being pampered was all the world to me and that was why I loved my real mom; the soft one.

I had to live with not having to battle two opinions at the same time. This was because it was just one person deciding for me at a particular time. I had days when I wished both of my parents were together and only realized it was a daydream. It was very lovely seeing all those cheerful families walk in at school occasions or even at Sunday Service. I never got the chance to discuss mom and dad as a couple while other children did so proudly. I think that my silence gave me up since no one bothered to ask me about my story. It was as though they had already figured out that I had nothing to share on such topics. And then there was the excuse that I usually gave about my dad being abroad and mom living in Ghana which although true, was far from the reality that they never got engaged.

What I am literally trying to say is that although single parenting may not necessarily be bad, it is never a great experience for any child. Our egos are bruised within the first stages of our lives due to the experience. One needs to grow a tough skin and bear all the pain along with the single parent who raised you. You need to carry their frustrations as yours too. Basically, you are needed at one point and at another time you might as well never exist. After all this, you grow up and everyone expects you to be just fine and behave normal by some stroke of luck. Leave the past behind they say, as if it is easy to leave your memories behind and pretend that you never went through a psychological phase at such times.

All the same, there were some good moments and we will always cherish them. Like the times you had to be bold to face issues by yourself at a tender age. Funny as it may sound that was fun. That’s what has made some of us independent minded and strong. To all who were in a way physically and verbally abused, seek help, and above all love yourself. It may not be easy to let go but learn to do it for yourself. Reconcile with your past and face the future head on.

In finding love, you may be a bit unlucky due to what you observed at your young age. However, there is hope in loving yourself in order to attract the love that you desire. I learnt this the hard way though. Have faith in life just as most of us are already doing. I hope that I live to write another story and that my children, who will be raised from a strong and loving home, will get to read it.

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  1. Benjamin Adjei

    Thank you.

  2. You’re welcome Ben

  3. Thanks for sharing, Anima.

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