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Diary Of A Confused Lover

Ours could have been love but you taught me otherwise…

We have had many fun times together and I really enjoy being around you. You are like the person for my soul. Soul mate. Yes, that’s what they call it. You text me the how-are-yous and I melt at each sight of it. I offer you my time, energy and passion. You “move to me” but not “in that way”.

They tell me to stay away from you. I tell them you mean no harm. You offer me great company than they do and now I think they are jealous. You and I are the talk of the day although I wonder what is there is to talk about. Ours is a fantasy that we ourselves cannot explain. You feel something and so do I. Telling what that “something” is is what makes ours an adventure.

I wish I know my place though. Am I first, second, third or even last? I ask you questions like, “Who am I to you?”, and “What at all are we doing?”. You don’t seem to have answers either.

So on and on we go. Night dates. Late night walks. Flirting. Sexting. Movie nights. Pillow fights. Dances. All the fun times and low times are ours. No telling how we are able to access each other freely and yet have difficulty in unlocking our truest feeling for each other. Maybe it’s best to leave things how they are. Let’s give each other room to explore ourselves. Or should we just end it all?

It is not easy to look on as other people get free entry into your life while I remain anonymous to them. Will I ever mean anything to you? Should I suffer any hurt, who will be blamed? Will that be my fault or yours? I hope I am able to freely break away without having to leave a scar. I hope you will not return completely changed and needing of my full attention and love.

I am going to be bold and break free from you. Let me give you a chance to choose who you want to share your love with without having to force you to do so. And if I ever cross your mind while I am away, just remember that I am thankful for the moments with you. I don’t blame you for my lack of confidence in telling you what I feel. I am only worried that you could not place me in any portion of your life. You not only left me wandering but totally lost. To you, I will always remain friend, cousin, sibling, bestie, but never a LOVER. And that’s just fine.

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  1. Benjamin Adjei

    Wow! Great piece by all standards. Keep it up 👍.

  2. Priscilla kwarteng


  3. On point. Really dope

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