Home / Education / We Always Get Beaten: The Midland Ordeal And Other Matters

We Always Get Beaten: The Midland Ordeal And Other Matters

If you ask me, we all get beaten daily as women, and as the vulnerable. Will the story have been different if it was another man or a wealthy person who was at the bank? Each passing day, I see how women are being verbally and physically abused by some so-called civilized men. Don’t be surprised with what the police man did to the woman. It usually happens even at our offices and no one deals with it. How dare you challenge authority or norms as a woman?

Our society has in a way written off women. It sees women as the weakling. The current situation seems as if we live in a jungle where the prey has to seek for shelter immediately they see the devourer. People, in fact, men, keep asking me why I sometimes speak negative of some men. It’s not that I deliberately want to paint men badly but it’s because of my daily experiences and observations. Most of the men we tend to grow up around are, to me, less emotional beings. Their sense of feeling seem to be out of touch.

Forget exceptions, for most men, women are a bag of trouble and the only way they can be tamed is to shut them up or to beat them up. Isn’t there a better way to deal with women? How about communicating with them in order to reason together. And when it comes to communication, some men will only allow the women to keep on blabbing and not give them a conversation. In fact, some male chauvinists do not see sense in anything that comes from a woman and are quick to push their ideas aside. This, in its subtle form, even goes on in board meetings.

How do you think women feel when they are always relegated to the background? It’s the worse form of abuse to know that you are not seen as useful.

These same men still think that roles such as cooking, cleaning and managing the home is strictly women business and that you are less of a woman if you don’t do such chores. The bad extent to which this goes is when male children are raised to think so too. What is even worse is when your brother or male partner does not want to help out with these roles because society will make him feel less of a man. These acts leave bruises on women each day and although they do not talk about it, it hurts more than physical abuse.

The ordeal with the police man and the mother who went to withdraw her money from Midland is just one of the many unkind behavior meted out to women each day. I do not want to believe that the man will be let to go scot free but it is possible. You know why? It is because the person who will see to his punishment is probably another man who perhaps sees nothing wrong with his behavior.

How about helping women more? How about being kind and loving no matter what gender you’re dealing with? Women are good listeners, they can understand you. And if they see no reason with you, you can always resolve it another day when tempers are low. Men provoke, women also provoke. There should be no reason someone gets a different treatment because of their gender or status in society.

Let us learn to be sweet and gentle towards each other. For me, growing up and living with different people has taught me a lot I need to know about men and I am still learning to unlearn some of my biases. Maybe it is time to teach men to be gentlemen and not just some I-dont-know-what-to-call-them people.

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6 comments

  1. This subject matter has been treated as a “no go area” in the traditional Ghanaian conversation. I’m glad you have defied all odds to speak to the matter.
    I believe awareness is a great tool needed to cause any kind of change. Putting more of these out there can help cause the needed change.
    Great job Justica!

  2. Thanks for the feedback Davies

  3. Very beautiful and refreshing read. As you rigthly stated, men provoke. Women too provoke With this reality, we must indeed tolerate each other.

  4. Yes Enoch, both genders should learn to be loving towards each other. We should drop some of our traditional ideas and embrace each other for who they are.

  5. Your views are well taken except that, I think you have veered too much into the feminists’ territory. I hardly see that to be the reason for the policeman’s behaviour. His behaviour is despicable, but it is more to do with police training in Ghana than the offending policeman seeing the victim as a woman and therefore a weakling. The police dish out such summary punishments to men as well. I am sure you are aware of the recent mistaken shooting of a bullion van driver who was a man.

    I have made two recent posts on Twitter about police training and recruitment in Ghana, which I believe need an overhaul. You follow one of my two Twitter accounts so you have probably read one of them. However, I will put both here for the sake of your readers:

    (1) This is an issue more to do with the training regime. I guess the training places emphasis on the physical aspect of policing with no or little intellectual content—psychology, human relations, law, criminology, sociology. The latter is as important as the former @GhPoliceService

    (2) ‪You are perfectly right. The issue is the background of the people recruited as constables. Elsewhere the entry requirement (by written assessment) is such that it is hard to make it unless one is educated to the equivalent of a first university degree. So training reflects this.

    I would finally make one request to you and other journalists and bloggers. In Ghana, the official language is the British English, not the American version. So I would urge you all to write the British version because it confuses students studying for the WASSE examinations, which are based on the British version. Just last night, I had been explaining the difference between “neighbor”and “neighbour” when she wrote the former in a WhatsApp message to me. I had explained to her that it would be wrong to write that in her WASSE exams, which she is sitting next year.

    • Hi Kofi,

      Your comments are welcome and accepted. I took my angle of writing towards tackling the root cause of some of these brutalities; where education and professional training will not have to be the only requirement for people to be treated well but home/social training and having set values.

      I also appreciate that you mentioned my feminist stand. Well, if you read on you will also acknowledge that I tried to give fair balance to both gender and status. However, it will also be good if we tackle issues as pertains to reality and the fact remains that most Africans, and for that matter, Ghanaian men, do not treat women nicely at all. And I am not in any way saying there are no good men out there. This is just to sound a word of caution on how we raise both genders to see each other in a different light.

      Also, thanks for the education on British and American spelling, sometimes auto-correct decides for you. I will take care of that. Thanks.

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