I was with a friend of mine when she showed me a Whatsaap status of someone within her contacts. It was the sex tape of Afia Schwarzenegger. I had done a blog post about her (Personality Profile) so the video immediately caught my attention. Frankly, after seeing it I was horrified. A lot of things began running through my mind just like any other person who have seen the video. I even took to Facebook to describe how unimpressed I was about the action of the said “ex-husband”.
Looking at the trend of sex videos and how men in recent times have taken to using that to attack and harass ladies, I think we as women must start rethinking our actions. We must sit up and use our mental intelligence well. Look at how just recently, Christabel Ekeh had to release her own nude pictures just so that she could get a blackmailing person off her back. See how Rashida “Malafaka” got humiliated because some unreasonable someone leaked her video which apparently had been stored in archives for her day of reckoning (a sign of revenge).
23 years Tomi Adeyemi making impact
I get very ashamed for womanhood anytime I see stuff like those. It is like women indirectly give permission for such things to happen to us. For me, I believe that we allow the things that happen to us to happen. Here are a few lessons I figured could be drawn from these instances.
Lock up: When you want to have sex, lock the door. Period. This one too do you need a prophet to tell you that? If you like lock it and keep the key till after all the action is over.
Lights off: This will sound funny but if he has not married you, why should he see your whole nakedness afterall? If he is partially blind then perhaps he needs to turn on the bedside lamp or torch. Whatever the case is, never leave the lights fully on for him to get to video you. Low lights in itself gives a more romantic setting than lights on. Don’t ask me how, do your research.
Curtians down: The way things are, even if its nighttime, the curtains must be rolled down before the action. Anybody can just film you guys. Mental alertness my dear, it is very important. Who even leaves curtains up these days?
Phones away: I gathered from some sources that there are guys who while the action is happening and they are on top of you, pick up their phones for no reason. Madam, he is either taking photos or filming the action. If I were you, I will just hide his phone somewhere until action has ceased.
No nude Pictures: There is a demon hovering in guys’ minds lately. It is called the demon of “send-me-a-picture-of your-nudity”. Certain unreasonable guys keep reminding their girlfriends that there is nothing wrong with sending pictures of your nude breasts or back side. Most women have fallen prey before. However, looking at the trends you must stop doing that. Unless you don’t really have a problem with your nude going into the public space.
Enter into responsible relationships: Sister, you know very well that the guy you are dating is an ass but you still hang around him. He assaults you and you are still there. As for that one if wahala come, its your own palava okay.
Lastly, we must learn to apply the law and demand that our rights be protected. DOVVSU and other women rights advocacy platforms are available to fight for women who fall victims to some of these things. Instead of doing Snapchat, Instagram, and Watsapp, use your internet bundle wisely. Research around things that will make you impactful in society. Always strive to be better than you were yesterday. It is only then that you will attract great people and things into your life.
Thank you for reading. Add your own advice to young women in the country below in the comment box.